Sunday, August 18, 2013

Reclaiming me and a bit of reminiscing too.....

This is my 5 th year SURVIVING Pancreatic cancer!  I am so proud and Blessed for this milestone.  It makes me tear up every time I think of the journey that I have been through.  Now that I am off chemo, it is about maintain the body that Chemo gave me.  I have found that physically.....my body was devastated with loss of muscle mass and my energy levels were okay, but needed improvement.  The lack of energy comes from lack of red blood in my body.  It is not low enough to have a transfusion, but my body has a difficult time producing red blood cells.  These are some small things that chemo did to my body.
     I have been reclaiming my body back....it has been a long but steady process.  I was just able to compete in a mini triathlon, Tri for a Cure,  I competed in the cycling portion and completed the 15 mile course.  For me, it was something that took me back to the daily chemo treatments and what your body has to endure during cancer and how this disease and it's treatments takes you to your physical and mental limits.  Every mile I rode...I reminisced on the people I have met these past 5 years, and that have made such a HUGE impact on my life.  I cried and  let those tears carry me through the cascading hills of the course.  There were times that the hills seemed to be a daunting task.  I then thought of all my fellow cancer fighter's...who lost there battle.  "I am here and I am complaining"....And I would kick my own ass into gear.  I am here to fight and conquer for all those who are not  here...I am here to be a beacon of HOPE to anyone that needs it.  Everyone needs HOPE...especially with a cancer diagnosis.  I would not let anyone take my hope and I still hold tightly to it.  I hold onto HOPE for a cure and a way to make this beast, pancreatic cancer, go away!
Maybe my success of surviving Stage 4 pancreatic cancer for this long.... there is something they could learn from me.  My HOPE would be someone to study my body and tell me what made the chemo work on such a terminal case.....Fascinating thought???